happy valentine's day
sometimes it feels like i just met you yesterday, and other times it feels like i've known you since the moment i came into existence. in actuality, it's only been three years... but they've easily been the best three years of my entire life. this is my third valentine's day with you and my second valentine's day with you, and i have to say that this one might just be my favorite out of the three. there's an obnoxious amount of pressure on this day, but i have to say that i kind of agree with what you and the other boys said during cocktail chats. isn't it kind of silly, when i could spend all year showing you how much you mean to me? even so... it's important to me that i make this day feel special for you, because you're special - and i'll never turn down an excuse to shower you in gifts and attention.

i'm not entirely sure if i believed in love at first sight before i met you - and i'm still not sure if that's the right way to describe it (simply because i came to feel the way that i do about you slowly as i grew to know you more and more) but i felt an incomparable connection with and attraction to you the second your eyes met mine. it didn't always seem like the two of us were ever going to be able to be together, considering our situations, but fate has a funny way of making things happen if they're meant to be, and i think that the two of us were.

i'll be honest: it's hard to put into words exactly what you mean to me. i can turn you into a million different melodies and songs that i pour my heart into, but when it comes time to just sit down and write you a letter that explains the way you make me feel, i find myself drawing a blank.

you are my most prominent thought throughout my days. from the second i wake up, i think about you. whether i reach out to you or not, i wonder how you're sleeping, and if you're not asleep, how you're doing, what time it is for you, whether you're having a good day, whether you're thinking about me too. you're the most dominant thought in my head when it's on my pillow at night, while i'm tucked safely into my side of the bed that's become ours. you are, to say the least, a permanent fixture on my train of thought and i'm never not thinking of you, no matter what i'm doing. i've never felt that way about anyone before - especially not with the security of knowing that they're thinking of me, too, and i just want to tell you how grateful i am for you bringing that into my life.

you make me so happy with the simplest of things: referencing an old inside joke of ours, calling me a sweet nickname, carrying me around places, kissing my forehead, telling me you've missed me when i've been away. i've just never felt so safe, so appreciated, and so wholly loved and supported the way i do with you.

happy valentine's day, luke. i'm so happy that you're here.